Sandeeps flashback and missed call

He was drenched in his own thoughts.The yellow paint reminded him of Richa.

It was July 2008.“Ok.Evening sharp at 6 pm,CCD,dadar,”Sandeep said to Richa. They were about to meet after a long time.As usual Sandeep was busy with his office work.Also , he was going to take part in a TV reality dance show called “Rakhi ke saath nacho,” he was busy practicing .He was eagerly waiting for Rajinikanth’s next movie “Yentran” which would be released in 2009.He celebrated Rajnikanth's birthday by cutting cake and distributing sweets in his apartment.Even his best friend Asbah was invited for that birthday.

”Yeh to bata,dekhta hai tu kahan,” his phone rang.It was Supari bhai giving his regular supari to sandeep.”Shanpati ,apun ko aaj tujhe milna hai sham 6 baje CCD mein,” Sandeep’s face turned pale and his body started shivering after hearing Supari bhai's voice. He could not repay the 20k bucks that he borrowed from the don.He was supposed to meet his girlfriend Richa and Supari bhai at the same time and that too at the same place.He wanted to get rid of that.An idea struck in his mind. He remembered a scene from Rajnikanth's flick where the hero’s body is painted with black color. Sandeep decided to do the same.He soon removed his shirts and changed his brown face to a yellow one.He painted his face with yellow oil paint, with red stripes just like an adivaasi.

He reached CCD at 6 pm ,people were looking at him like crazy.”See,the clown momma ,” a boy of 4 could not stop laughing after seeing Sandeep in this avatar. Sandeep was already used to such embarassing scenes .He once, roamed Marine drive without his pants and few days later ,he gave himself an European blonde look. He was waiting for Richa. He grabbed her hands as soon she reached CCD. ”Bachao”, She shouted.Sandeep assured her that it was him. He refrained himself from telling the story behind this yellow paint. At the same time,Supari bhai was searching for Sandeep Malan. Sandeep believed that Supari could not identify him, so he decided to perform some Rajini style. ”Enna ,da rascala,you searching for Sandeep,”Sandeep slapped bhai. Supari bhai’s men got furious with this act of the yellow colored guy . ”Enna kanna,chuma adharrula," he went on with his Rajni dialogues.He slapped Supari again and again,it seemed he liked it.Suddenly, it rained and the yellow paints were getting washed off.But he wasn’t aware of it.”Aila, tu hai,pakkado sale ko,”Supari ordered his men to catch Sandeep who was trying to escape.Sandeep soon kicked one of his men and flew like a superman.

Supari's men could not spot Sandeep for over miles.

Sandeep started laughing of a sudden and told all these things to his new doctor friend Neha.Even she enjoyed the joke. Sandeep and Neha became good friends and while discharging he got concessions because of Neha.

"I am going," Sandeep said with a low voice."Don't say going,"Neha said .

"Should I be here again," he added.

Sandeep was expecting Neha to ask his number.

"What is your number?,"Neha asked with a smile.

Sandeep eyes came out bulging. "Yippiee!!!," was his first reaction.

"Do you really want my number?,"he confirmed.

"Yes ,"I do want. Sandeep felt like turning into a bird and flying on the sky.

"Ok.its 970####### and give me a missed call,"he grinned.

"Whats this Malu?, I need ur receipt number,"she said.She further added that she would refer his receipt number to obtain the fee concession.His wings broke of a sudden and he fell down .Sandeep was angry with him self. "Its 6576A," he gave his receipt number to Neha.

"Thanks and 991#######," she smiled.

Sandeep remained stunned for a while.He started getting goosebumps .He glared at the doctor.

"Won't you give me a missed call," she asked him.

Soon Sandeeps fingers respond to the stimulus.His thumbs pressed number 9 of his E70 and he soon gave her a missed call.

He left the hospital and he was back to his home.Every one came to visit him including Shakuntala Aunty,Asbah,Mona,Rajesh,Ani, and his boss Miss Priyanka D'Silva.

Sandeep,doctor and the Pink Pimple Virus.

As soon as she spotted Shakuntala ,Richa tried to escape.She didn't want to conceal her identity to her.She soon covered her face with her duppata.But Shakuntala could see her eyes."Why has she covered her face?"she asked Sandeep gently.Sandeep didn't wanted to say anything about Richa,but Mrs Shakuntala wanted the rat to spill the bean."She has got pimples on her face," he indicated that Richa was infected with some dangerous virus."Its called Pink Pimple Virus (PPV)," he added.Shakuntala refused to accept this fact at first as people normally have pimples.At early 20's ,its quite usual that youngsters tend to get pimple,acne etc."I accept aunty jii,but if she looks at some one then even they get infected with the pimple thing,"he said to her with a straight face.Shakunta aunty got tensed for once and she soon left for the kitchen.When she closed the door he was laughing like crazy.He could not stop his laughter.He was giggling all through out. "hehe Virus,pimple virus ,pink pimple virus," he laughed like anything.He was happy with this art of blabbering things.Now ,too much of laughing some times leads to peril.Now,he got excited. Some chatters often use a term "ROFLMAO" which indicates extreme laughter in laymans term.Now Sandeep was literally rolling on floor."Pink Pimple,hehehe," echoed as he laughed.He soon clashed the refrigerator and the front handle of the fridge kissed his left elbow.Now,he was crying in pain."Police,Police," he screamed instead of calling an ambulance.
"Amma,Amma," he screeched in pain.Now he was rolling in pain.Mr.Ramana,his 71 year old neighbour soon rushed him to a near by hospital.

He was screaming in pain.As he was taken to the reception,his perverted eyes soon spotted few nurses and receptionist.Now all the pains had vanished.It was not a treatment ,but this was Sandeep Malan for every one.He was laid on a stretcher and taken to room number 238.Dr.Neha came to inspect him.
"Whats ur name?," she asked Sandeep.
"Maaalu!!!," he yelled."Shhhh!!," Neha warned him to remain silent."You have to take XRAY,ECG,CT SCAN etc etc," she added.

Sandeep Malan wondered that ECG was for chest related infections.He soon argued with Neha.But he failed in the event.He was forced to take all the required tests.Finally,the doctor came with the result.

Sandeep was staring at her eyes.Now no one would stop him from looking at her."Your left hand is fractured," she said."Oh Allah!!," he shouted instead of crying.
"Chill up Malu!," she said with a smile that took him to dreams.She further asked him not to worry.Now,he was dancing with Neha in his dreams."Sandeep,konja kitta vaaaaa,sandeep peyar rai sonna ki(Sandeep come with me ,and say my name),"Neha was singing this song in his dreams.

"Yeh toh bataa ,dekhta hai tu kahaan," his cell phone rang.Asbah had called him .He asked her to inform every one that Sandeep Malan has gone to Goa for a tour and he cut the phone...

"Kabab mein haddi," he address his best friend.

"Yeh toh bata ,dekhta hai tu kahaan,"his phone rang once again.This time it was Supari Bhai.His spine shivered.His eyes became moist.It was about to shed tears.
"Haan Bhai(yes bhai)," his voice faltered."Abhey saale,apun ka paisa kabh de raha hai, haddi pasli ek kar dunga (When are you returning my money back,I will break your bones),"the bhai said with anger on his voice and he soon cut the phone.Sandeep asked him to extend the deadline by another 3 months and Supari bhai agreed to the concord.

Sandeep was over joyed with this news.He returned back to his dreams dancing with Dr.Neha.
He was staring at the yellow painted walls.After Supari bhai's call he started relating few things.It reminded him of the rainy day where he was expected to meet his girlfriend Richa.

"Yellow ,Yellow, Supari is a dirty fellow," he started singing

Sandeeps new boss and Richa's desires ....

"Chal baag yahaan se",said Ramu kaka.
Sandeep wanted to prove his identity.Ramu kaka refused to accept him as Sandeep Malan.Sandeep insisted and later on he flashed his I card to the peon.Afterwards,he allowed Sandeep inside the office.No one in office could recognise Sandeep Malan."Hello ,uncle ", Shruti wished Sandeep considering him to be a senior officer."Heya Oldie!!," Mona winked at Sandeep.Sandeep was amazed and surprised .Now Sandeep's new blonde look worked very well.No one in office recognised him except Asbah.Sandeep introduced himself as Sandeep Kanth.Shruti,Mona ,and every one were busy doing their work and so was Sandeep.It was 2 pm ,Ramu came up with a news which he considered as a flash news for time being."Sanjay sir is quitting ," he smiled.This news was a special news for everyone for they considered their boss
as a hitler.Sandeep used to call him Indian hitler.Ramu further told everyone about the urgent meeting that was supposed to be conducted at 3 pm.He urged all office members to be present.It was 3 sharp and all office people reached the seminar hall.Sandeep was the last to reach."I guess ,I'm getting old,"Sanjay D'silva said."Abhey budda," Sandeep would have said ,but he didn't.Sanjay D'silva said that he would like to take rest and her daughter would taking charge as the next managing director of "Airvoice Telcomms".Hearing this every one pretend to
act as if they were sad,but in real they all were happy."I would like to invite my daughter Priyanka,"he said pointing to a beautiful lady who was standing near the door.Every one looked at Priyanka.She was tall like her dad Sanjay and fair and gorgeous like her mother Parul.Priyanka came to India after completing her MBA from Howards University.She looked like a foreigner although she was an Indian."Sahii Item!!!,"Sandeep said to himself.His eyes could only see her beautiful face.Sanjay introduced her daughter as a brilliant child who had done her schooling in London and who lived with her grand parents.Her younger brother TJ was doing his MS from the University of Illianos."Salle Richie Rich,"Sandeep muttered."Thank you dad,"Priyanka wished and she hugged her dad.It was a proud moment for Mr.Sanjay D'silva to see his daughter Priyanka working for his organisation.Priyanka could not see her dad getting emotional ,so he asked her paa to leave .She could not see tears shedding from her dads eyes.She was emotionally attached to her dad since childhood.TJ was fond of his mom Parul.He was a Momma's child."Bhaari Item!!,"Sandeep whispered to Asbahs ears.Asbah gave him a quick punch from behind and winked.Mr.Sanjay soon left the place."Junior hitler,"Shruti murmured to Mona's ears."Hope ,she isn't",Anila said to them.Priyanka asked all staffs to introduce themselves.Mona,Shruti,Asbah,Rajesh,Anila and every one had introduced themselves.Sandeep Kanth was feeling weird.Although Sandeep was one year elder to Priyanka,with his new look he was looking like her grandfather."Hey, Uncle!!",Priyanka addressed Sandeep."eich Uncle!!,"Sandeeps brows went high.He could't help as he looked like an Uncle.Asbah could not stop laughing.She started calling him Uncle as well."Sandeep Kanth from Trichur,"He replied."Shez a hot chick,"he said to Asbah and this time he got a kick from Asbah.Sandeep started liking his new boss.He hated Sanjay ,but he admired his daughter Priyanka.Sandeep is not new to having female bosses.He was aware of Nisha Malhotra.She was the one who kicked him out from"Utel Telcomm",where he worked before.He was said to have a crush on her and finally got kicked out of the company.Sandeep considered himself as unlucky.He preferred staying away from Priyanka."Bye guys!!",Priyanka left.It was 7.30 pm and Sandeep was enjoying the Rakhi Sawant show."Yeh toh bataaa ,dekhta hai tu kahaa,"his cell phone rang."Hey Mally ",She yelled and informed him that she would be coming in few minutes time.Sandeep decided to play a prank on her."Ding Dong",the door ball rang."Bhoo!!",Sandeep shouted.Richa
was shocked."Mummy ,save me ,bachao ," she screamed for help."Its me Sandeep,"he said and grabbed her inside .He kissed her on her lips."Leave me ,"she said.Richa was still confused with his new look."What is this for ?," she asked him."Stylee!! aing!!,"he said with a typical Rajni ishtyle.He wanted to make love with her .He slowly reached her and caressed her hairs from behind.He touched her lips slowly and took her to his bedroom.He laid her on the bed.Richa was getting excited.He went close to him."Ding Dong",the door bell rang."Sir,yeh achhi scent hai sir,"the sales man once again came to trouble Sandeep.He refused to buy any products and send him away.He quickly rushed to the bedroom to continue from where he stopped.He slowly reached her lips."Ding Dong",the door bell rang.The newspaper boy had come to collect
his newspaper bill."Dusra time nahi mila kya,"Sandeep hurried and settled the newspaper bill.He reached her lips once again."Ding Dong",bell rang once again.This time it was the ilkman.Sandeep
settled him the milk balance.This time he got irritated.He waited near the door for few minutes.After 10 minutes,he went inside the bedroom.Richa was waiting for him."Come naa jaldi,"she yelled.He soon came and tried reaching her lips again ."Ding Dong",bell rang.This time it was the post man."Kya hai?",Sandeep asked."Sir ,Diwali Bhakshish,"the post man grinned.Sandeep handed him 100 bucks.Sandeep went to the bedroom to continue from where he had left.He tried reaching her lips once again."Yeh to bata dekhta hai tu kahaa," this time his phone rang.Asbah was giving him missed calls as usual."Sale sab stupids hai," he said to himself.He went to the bedroom.Sandeep touched her pretty eyes."You know what people used to call us in college," she asked Sandeep."What! ?," he asked."Black and white TV " and she giggled."Common ,Richi," he touched her lips.He fondled her hair and kissed on her cheek."Ding Dong,"the door bell rang.He rushed to the door and could see his fat neighbour Mrs.Shakuntala.Richa got irritated."Some other day,sweetie!!,"she said to Sandeep.Sandeep was dissapointed."You changed ur hairstyle,"asked Mrs.Shakuntala.She also asked about Richa.He informed her that she was his girlfriend."YippO!!,Mr.Malan's got a girlfriend,"she screamed .
"Arey baapre!!,"he was vexed.
"How do I get rid of such people," he said.

Man with under wear rocks city and blonde makeover...

"Man with underwear rocks Marine drive",said Avantika the news reporter.Hearing this statement,Sandeep's heart came to his mouth.He remained stunned for a while."The guy seemed to have worn a blue color underwear,people say that some one called him Malan",She continued .The channel was telecasting the image of the guy with his face scrambled.Within no time he realized that that guy was none other than him.."Ayyo Kaddalavala ..Aaandavan eppo yaarai sodhipaan avan ukku teriyada"(god doesnt knows when he troubles any one) ,he said in his typical Rajnikath ishyle.At the same time ,"Ding dong", Mrs.Shakuntala had rang the door bell."Mr.Malan did you roam around yesterday without wearing your pants",she asked casually."Who told you?" was the question that supposedly Sandeep asked her."Headlines today is talking about some guy called MALAN,who roamed around without his pants",she winked.Sandeep soon refused to accept that it wasn't him.Sandeeps image was already tarnished in his society and this issue would be like adding fuel to fire.He learnt that only his watchman knew about this pant thing.He soon ran down through the stairs and bribed him.He gave him around 800 bucks and asked him to keep this as a top secret.The watchman accepted it and gave him a wink which suggested that he won't reveal the secret.

"Oh!! Mummy mein fass gaya",he yelled .Sandeep didn't want to spoil his so called already tarnished image.He was still having Richa's green duppatta with him.Richa demanded it to be dry cleaned from a laundry before returning it to her.Moreover Supari bhai was giving his regular supari's by remninding him everytime."Grr Grr," and it was a missed call once again from Asbah.He soon caller her and informed her about everything happened.Asbah was giggling all through out.She asked him to take leave the next day.Sandeep was depressed and felt low.He wanted to conceal his identity as Malan.Now he thought for a while and he soon got an idea.He loved that "Style " song from the Rajnikanth flick "Sivaji".In that song Rajnikanth was dressed like an European National with blonde hair."What an idea sirjii!!!", he praised and thanked Rajnikanth.The next day he got up at 9 am .As usual,he went to his pooja room and prayed.Rajnikanth would be glad to have adie hard fan like Malan who treats him as a god.He soon rushed to a near by Shopping Complex."Sexxy,Garnier color naturals hai kya",he asked a nearby sales woman giving her a big grin."Vaise ,Sandal bhi hai ",She got vexed."Sir ,tameez se baat karo don't use words like sexy and all",and she handed the garnier mens hair color to her.Sandeep apologised."Arey mujhe yeh nahi dusra color chahiye", he said.He never knew the color.He tried explaining her ,but to vain, the sales girl hardly understood any thing.Now,Sandeep got pissed off,he could not explain her.His eyes soon sighted an English woman with blonde hair.She looked like a 27 - 30 year old woman and she was buying feeding bottle for her 8 month old baby.Sandeep was not interested to quarrel and fight with the salesgirl.He went to the woman and pulled her hair as if she was his slave."Stop Stop",she
screamed and yelled, but Sandeep turned a deaf ear to that.He dragged and took her to the sales girl.He pointed her hair and said I want this color .The salesgirl could not stop her laughter.He could have evaded himself from doing such things ,but he couldn't.The English woman slapped Sandeep and one could see all her five fingers on Sandeeps right cheek.Every one looked at Sandeep as the "chttttt " sound of the slap was audible to everyone over there.He was embarresed and his voice went low."Take this and its called Blonde",the sales girl handed the hair color to him.He apologised to the English woman."Chttt", and he got another slap on his left cheek from her husband."Saala,mein maar khane ke liye paidha hun", he said to himself and
he left.He next went to a well known familiar make up artist and asked for a moustache.He made many demandings such as it should be thick and should be like Rajnikanth's moustaches.He finally got settled with one and left for his home.It was now the time for makeover.He colored his hairs and he placed his moustaches at the proper place.He let it dry for few hours.After
everything was done,he went near the mirror to see how he looked.He slowly uncovered his hands that was covering his face."TATATA TAAAAAAAAINNNN",and he screamed .."mummy ,bhoot ,bhoot ,bachao".Only then he realized that it was him.He could not recognize himself and he was very happy at that instant.Now he wanted to get rid of that "Malan" factor.He shortlisted few names like kumar,balan,chalan,dalan,milan.But he wasn't happy with any of them.He thought of a good name and finally an idea struck on his mind and he shouted "Sandeep Kanth"."Yippie!!,I got a new name ," he screamed."Sandeep Kanth" will rock the world.He wanted to give Asbah a pleasant surprise.He waited for her to come."Ding Dong ," rang the door bell."Who is this??are you Sandeeps dad", she asked him."No,No", he said .Asbah soon gave him a punch on his nose.Initially ,he was been slapped by 2 foreigners."Asbah ,stop",he obstructed her from further attacks."Sorry, Sandeep", she placed ice on his nose.She was not happy with his joker look.Sandeep had to do this in order to conceal his identity.She was impressed with his approach and he asked her to keep it as a top secret.
'Joker !! Joker Kanth",she yelled probably making fun of his new look.
Asbah was his only best friend in "Airvoice Telecomm".

The next day he went to office and he had to face some bad experiences.
"Yeh circus nahi hai ,get lost,"the poen thrashed him.
"Arey,Ramu kaka," Sandeep yelled.

"Kaun hai aap,Joker lagte ho," Ramu kaka said politely.

"Kaun hai voh joker," Sanjay D'silva ordered Ramu to throw Sandeep out of the office premises.

"Sandeep Kanth ,"He shouted...


(PS: Sandeeps new look was some what like this
)

Sandeeps biggest nightmare

Sandeep now had a BMW ,but unfortunately he never knew how to drive it.He was
experimenting with the gears and accelerator.He believed that he would learn to drive by
his own.He remembered Rajnikanth facing some similar problem in a tamil movie..Sandeep became enthusiastic and took it as a challenge and again started with his Rajni dialogues."Kanna Chumma zuzupi da chellame"(You are nothing in front of me).He was busy studying the car parts with his buttock outside and head popping into the front part of the car.And of suddenhe got a kick on his left butt.Sandeep Malan was annoyed and anxiously looked behind to know which bloody moron kicked him.He turned behind in typical Rajni ishtyle."Abhey teri Maaki....." and he suddenly paused when his lips delivered the extended part of the maaaki word.He was shooked and put to silence when he'd seen Supari bhai giving Supari to him."Kya re Shaana hai kya tuu,bhintukle chintukle saala teri batti bujha du kya teri", Supari bhai was ferocious."Saala .. " and he removed his 2 foot long sword from his bag and chopped his head.

"Mummmmyyyy......enna kaaapaaaatttuuuuu.....bachaaaooooooo"(Mummy ,save me),screamed Sandeep and he got up after his 15 minute sleep.Kantabhai was devoid of everything happening there.She was busy cleaning the bathroom tiles.Sandeep soon got up to see his brand new BMW and to vain he could only see the Maruti 800 and Santro of his neighbours.Only then he felt that Sarah Alexander and Sanjay D'Silva beach thing was a dream."Prince in dreams and pauper in real" ,he said to himself.

"What the fuck?", was his first reaction when he realized that it was a dream.Sandeep actually want to meet Supari bhai at Marine point.He was tired after watching Rajnikanth's movie.He was deeply immersed in Rajnikanth's behaviour and style .Is this what they call "Rajnism"?.He checked his watch and was shocked as he had promised to meet supari bhai in 30 minutes time.His nerves and his entire body shivered when he realized that he made Supari bhai wait.He soon left his home without even informing Kantabhai.He hurried and ran out as if wild mad dogs were chasing him from behind.As he left his building gates,the watchman stared at him with a seductive look.Sandeep glanced behind and said "sale gay hai kya tuu," and he continued running as if he was representing India in 100m racing event.He took an autorickshaw and directed the driver to reach marine point within 30 minutes.The driver was confused at first.He believed that this guy looks like a rich man and still he wears dresses like this and he smiled at him.Sandeep could not read his smile and "salle gays hi barein hai is jagah mein" he gave a wicked smile.As soon as he reached the destination,he could see Supari bhai with all his supari's giving him a heroe's welcome."Bhai hum maafi chahta huun," Sandeep was worried expecting a slap from Supari.Supari was outraged when he'd seen Sandeep."Kya re Shaana hai kya tuu,bhintukle chintukle saala teri batti bujha du kya teri".Supari was very angry.As soon as Sandeep heard this statement,he was aware of the consequence.Sandeep bowed his head down so that it may ease Supari bhai's task to chop his head."Aye shane ,kay kartos tuu" Supari gave a strange look.Supari asked him to pay his loan and interests within the next 72 hours and asked him to leave.One could see a sigh of relief sort of expresssion from Sandeep's face.He thanked Supari for the 3 days time and promised him to repay the loan.When he turned around , every one started laughing at him .Even Supari bhai was laughing.Sandeep was happy that all beautiful chicks were smiling and laughing at him.Some traditional desi girls even closed their eyes.Now Sandeep was confused and he was not knowing the reason behind that laughter."Kya hua ?" he asked a little girl standing around."Uncle!!,Where is your pant?" she giggled and her mom took her away from him.Now,Sandeep was feeling embarresed and there was not even a single familiar face to save him.It was a free show to all girls out there and they made much use of this never come opportunity of a guy standing out in public without his pants."Oh know ,Amma..idhu enna "(Oh,Mumma what is this?),Sandeep was terrified with this stupidness.While he was returning back to home ,every one was laughing and gigling at him."Mummy ,see that dark clown ,I wanna play with him",a kid of 4 urged his mom to play with Sandeep.There was no one to help him.

"Sandeep,what is this?", asked Richa.Sandeep never wanted to see Richa under such circumstances.Richa was hanging out at Marine point with her friends.He soon covered his face
suggesting that he was shy.Richa soon handed her duppatta to Sandeep and asked him to wear
it like a lungi.Richa was not happy with this behavior of Sandeep.She gave him 300 bucks
and asked him to go home.

Sandeep could not realize this clumpsy act of his after his building watchman and rickshaw driver laughed at him.He reached his home.The watchman couldn't stop laughing at him.He handed his room key that Kantabhai gave to him.He was feeling angry at himself.

Sandeep Malan took rest and he tuned his TV set to Sun TV.He was stunned when a famous
Rajnikant movie was being shown on the TV channel.It was "Dharmatin thalaivan" where Rajni
forgets his lungi while he goes out of his house and a dog chases him.Sandeep could not stop
laughing after seing it.Only then he realized that some thing similar happened to him.He
then tuned to some good music channel and his lips started watering as he had to see his
favourite Rakhi Sawant with minimal clothes on an item number called "Yaara ishq vishq".He
then tuned to Headlines today to see his favourite news reporter"Avantika Singh".She was
talking on some serious news that rocked the city.

"Man with underwear rocks Marine drive" was the flash news.

D'Silva dances to Sandeeps tune

Sandeep felt a sudden chill in his spine. He felt numb. He badly prayed that he could hide his face somewhere between those rocks. After all D'silva was his much revered Boss. But when he looked at the bleeding face of his boss , Sandeep saw something else. There was fear in his eyes. Eyes, which begged of mercy. Eyes which were full of shame. Sandeep could see an unarmed loser pleading clemency in front of the king.

Scenes from the past started hovering in Sandeep’s mind. The days when Sanjay used to make him work nights, the days when he used to demean the presentations those were made burning the midnight oil. Days when he had to miss the Rakhi Sawant shows due to unscheduled meetings by Sanjay according to his own whims and fancies. Days when Sanjay Used to growl "All you MBA's are good for nothing”. The days when he used to reprimand Sandeep’s unshaven look and praise Sarah’s impeccable dressing sense. The days when he used to appreciate Sara’s shade of Lip color and degrade Sandeep’s 100 Page Project reports. Now Sandeep knew why his project briefings lasted 15 minutes as compared to Sarah’s 1 hour 15 minutes.

Sandeep started evaluating the options. He started thinking of the best possible ways to bring and end to this nightmare called Sanjay. Various thoughts came to his mind. “How about bringing Sanjay D'Silva's activity out in the open, balding him in front of the entire office and make him roam in the office with a Shoe garland on his neck. A Poster on his back with “BIG BOSS!!(ENTERTAINMENT KA BAAP)" written on it wont be a bad idea either” thought Sandeep. His naughty but highly innovative brain started flooding with ideas. But Sandeep was always logical. Since his college days Sandeep was known for his impeccable logic. He knew this was a one time opportunity and he had to make the most out of it. Suddenly his eyes lit up. Yes, this was the solution he was looking for. He knew exactly what to do.

“Sirrrr.....Youuuu”!!!!, exclaimed Sandeep in a melodramatic style. “I never expected you with Sarah. She’s like your daughter!!! Half your age!!! How can you do this To Parul Bhabhi??” ( Parul was Sanjay's wife who was supposedly his childhood Sweetheart.)..Oh No!! How will that poor lady feel now? What if people from office come to know? Shittt....”.Sandeep wiped off a nonexistent tear from his eyes and continued, “Sir why did you do it?? But more than that I am worried what will happen to us when you will be fired from office.” Who will provide us with able guidance? “We will definitely miss you Sir”.

“Nnoooo..Ssandeep..!!!” came a voice from that horror stricken Face. Sandeep very well knew that he was on the right path. He could draw a nasty and ghory picture of the outcome.
'

“Please..Forgive me....Don’t tell this to any one Sandeep .Please think about my wife and young daughter!!” ,begged Sanjay D'Silva, whose face had turned red with shame.

“Sir, I would definitely like to…. but what you have done is shameful.. and moreover Sir.. I am a small pawn in this big office. A pawn with such a low salary. .So who am I pardon you Sir.Let the office decide” .Sandeep’s words were curt and to the point.

Sanjay knew what to say. "How about a 40% hike effective from this month itself? I know you deserve it Sandeep, after all you have been working pretty hard all this while.”

“Hmmmm”...said Sandeep. “But Sir these days inflation is so high…and… I don’t even have much money left to pay off my debt for the Home loans I have taken.”

Sanjay threw another bait “How about a 200 percent assured bonus this year Sandeep? I think you just deserve it. Your manager is extremely happy with your performance.”

“That is really sweet of you sir” said the witty Sandeep.”But I was also wondering that these days our working hours are too long and…and.. leaves are too less… we cant even watch Rajnikant movies.. You see!!!!”

“Sandeep… Why don’t you take couple of weeks off?? It’s been really long you have been to your hometown… and as far as Rajnikant movies are concerned, even I am a great admirer of Rajnikant. You should have told me earlier about your passion. I will personally get your tickets booked prior to any Rajnikant release.”

"Thats soooo sweeet of you Sir. I think every employee should get a manager like you who is empathetic and forward looking.” said a jubilant Sandeep. “I think Airvoice Telecommunications deserves more managers like you”.

Sandeep Malan was awarded the best employee award the following year with special recommendations from his manager. He drives a BMW X-6 Convertible now. Sanjay though is happy with his Zen Estillo.

Sandeep meets supari bhai and the stranger

Sandeep rushed to his home. He paid 500 bucks to the auto, and without even waiting for the change, immediately rushed to his apartment. His apartment was in the most posh area of Juhu. It was that area of Mumbai which was home to many bollywood stars including Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Hrithik Roshan….and the item girl Rakhi Sawant. Sandeep had spent a fortune a few weeks ago in buying his 13th floor apartment just facing the building where Rakhi Sawant resided. He had spent all his savings, borrowed money from a goon, sold his ancestor’s house…much to the horror of his father, cut on his dates with Richa…just to get enough money for this apartment. Such was his craze for the item girl. There was a time when he used to spend maximum time with Richa. Richa, his love from his college days…the girl who won his heart when she sealed their love with a kiss. Sandeep was totally mad and passionate for her. He was always like that…passionate, moody, crazy!

He rushed to take the lift for his floor. It was 6.54 pm. And the lift got stuck. “Damn!! No!! God...you can’t do this to me! No!!”, he was growing impatient. The lift was back in order at 6.56 pm. But those two minutes seemed like ages to Sandeep. He was getting desperate. He reached his apartment at 6.57 pm and switched on the TV as soon as he entered. Straight to the ‘Hot Channel’ for the ‘Night out with Rakhi’ show. He waited for the 7 pm show and turned the volume to max and danced continuously for two hours at all the cheap Rakhi item numbers watching her live performance alongside. There was a time when the neighbours used to complain…not anymore. They had lost all hopes. Rakhi Sawant was his passion. He used to spend hours at his balcony waiting to get a glimpse of Rakhi who lived on exactly the same floor in the opposite building. Once he was even caught by the security when he was trying to reach Rakhi’s apartment by climbing up the sewage pipe. He then enjoyed a complete two day and one night stay at the prison. It was his friend Asbah who got him out and even convinced Richa that Sandeep was on a short business trip. Asbah was well aware of Sandeep’s latest craze and made every effort to hide this from Richa. But little did she know the extent to which that madness had evolved. She was as unaware as Sandeep himself!

It was 9.30 pm when he saw 5 missed calls from Richa on his phone. He thought of calling her back later. Just then he received a call from Supari Bhai, the local don from whom he had borrowed money for the apartment. He directed him to reach Marine Point in half an hour. Sandeep reached there to find Supari and his two men. “Abey shaney…tera time aa gaya lagta hai!! Vapas kar paise varna teri building se hi tujhe neeche tapka doonga!!”, he threatened. At that very moment Supari Bhai’s phone buzzed with the ringtone, “Arey ye to bataaa..sochta hai tu kyaaa….” This was the latest Rakhi Sawant item number and Sandeep’s favourite. He immediately started to dance on this song…step by step…exactly like Rakhi Sawant. He was singing and dancing madly. Marine Drive was a famous hangout spot and at that hour, there were many people hanging around. Sandeep was dancing like mad. Supari tried to stop him but could not. People were now staring at them. Supari and his men left the spot fearing police attention. Song by song…he kept on dancing and singing each item number of Rakhi Sawant.
It was then he spotted a couple in a compromising position making merry in a corner, away from preying eyes. The spot the couple had chosen was perfect as it was very difficult to spot them at this hour. Sandeep’s eyes lit up at the thought of mischief. He recalled a scene from yesteryears Rajni flick where the hero plays a moral police. Rakhi steps were replaced by Rajni’s poses in a matter of seconds and Sandeep started off in the direction were the couple were making merry. “Found a safe place you rascala’s….Rajni anna around and all this shit happening…Chumma Perai Kettavudane adhiruthilla (Doesn’t my name send a shiver down your spine?)…. Ponnum, pennum un pinnadi varanum...athu pinnadi nee pogakoodadhu..( Money and girls should always follow you, never go behind them)…Does not this chappy know that….Rascala…making merry in Rajni’s presence….Shoooo…Shooo…Go away….Go away…..Go away I say….Naan Oru Thadava Sonna ....Nooru Thadava Sonna Mathiri..!(I say it once, it’s as good as saying it a hundred times)”, Sandeep was shouting at the couple in true Rajni ishtyle. The couple were so engrossed in making merry that they had turned a deaf ear to the outside world. This enraged Sandeep. He started walking towards the couple after flicking a cigarette in the air which landed perfectly between his lips. He was walking in Rajni style. He was barely a metre away from the couple on romp when he stopped abruptly and dished out more Rajni dialogues. “Adhe kozhandhai kitta Sandeep Malannu sonna, innoru kaiyale avanga amma vaayayum moodum!” (Well, if you say the name ‘Sandeep Malan’ to that particular unborn child, it will close its mother’s mouth with the other hand!)…… Late ta vandalu Latest ta varuven(I come late but I come Latest)….put your clothes on you Rascala’s….and face Rajni….and get lost from here…..Yenna Rascalaaaa….Mind It!!!”, screamed Sandeep. A crowd had started gathering at the spot where Sandeep was belting dialogue after dialogue. More and more people were joining in to check out what the commotion was all about. Everyone who saw what was happening, was enraged at the couple.
The couple was shocked at this sudden intrusion and was clueless what was happening. The girl picked up her duppatta and fled the scene. Sandeep caught a glimpse of her when she ran past him. He had seen her somewhere. The face he saw bore a striking resemblance to Sarah Alexander, who was his colleague at office. Yes, it had to be her. That scar on her right cheek had confirmed his doubts. The guy was still in a state of shock. He was taken aback to see all the crowd that had gathered. Sandeep was still fuming, “Yennaaa Rascalaa…making merry at a secluded spot and marring the image of this great city…that too when Rajni’s disciples are around….Mind it!! You people…teach him a lesson…no one messes around in Rajni’s raj…..Mind it!!” The enraged mob attacked the guy and started beating him up. With every cry, Sandeep was laughing more hysterically. After beating him up for 5 minutes, Sandeep intruded and asked the crowd to stop. “Rajni’s biggest strength is his ability to forgive and forget…Mind it!! One last slap in Rajni ishtyle and then you are free”, said Sandeep. He caught hold of the guy’s collars and pulled him towards him. The guy was bleeding profusely. He was crying loudly. “Look at me you rascala”, commanded Sandeep. The guy looked in his direction. Sandeep got the shock of his life. It was Sanjay D’Silva!! His boss Sanjay D’Silva!!

Sandeep meets supari bhai and the stranger

Sandeep rushed to his home. He paid 500 bucks to the auto, and without even waiting for the change, immediately rushed to his apartment. His apartment was in the most posh area of Juhu. It was that area of Mumbai which was home to many bollywood stars including Salman Khan, Akshay Kumar, Hrithik Roshan….and the item girl Rakhi Sawant. Sandeep had spent a fortune a few weeks ago in buying his 13th floor apartment just facing the building where Rakhi Sawant resided. He had spent all his savings, borrowed money from a goon, sold his ancestor’s house…much to the horror of his father, cut on his dates with Richa…just to get enough money for this apartment. Such was his craze for the item girl. There was a time when he used to spend maximum time with Richa. Richa, his love from his college days…the girl who won his heart when she sealed their love with a kiss. Sandeep was totally mad and passionate for her. He was always like that…passionate, moody, crazy!

He rushed to take the lift for his floor. It was 6.54 pm. And the lift got stuck. “Damn!! No!! God...you can’t do this to me! No!!”, he was growing impatient. The lift was back in order at 6.56 pm. But those two minutes seemed like ages to Sandeep. He was getting desperate. He reached his apartment at 6.57 pm and switched on the TV as soon as he entered. Straight to the ‘Hot Channel’ for the ‘Night out with Rakhi’ show. He waited for the 7 pm show and turned the volume to max and danced continuously for two hours at all the cheap Rakhi item numbers watching her live performance alongside. There was a time when the neighbours used to complain…not anymore. They had lost all hopes. Rakhi Sawant was his passion. He used to spend hours at his balcony waiting to get a glimpse of Rakhi who lived on exactly the same floor in the opposite building. Once he was even caught by the security when he was trying to reach Rakhi’s apartment by climbing up the sewage pipe. He then enjoyed a complete two day and one night stay at the prison. It was his friend Asbah who got him out and even convinced Richa that Sandeep was on a short business trip. Asbah was well aware of Sandeep’s latest craze and made every effort to hide this from Richa. But little did she know the extent to which that madness had evolved. She was as unaware as Sandeep himself!

It was 9.30 pm when he saw 5 missed calls from Richa on his phone. He thought of calling her back later. Just then he received a call from Supari Bhai, the local don from whom he had borrowed money for the apartment. He directed him to reach Marine Point in half an hour. Sandeep reached there to find Supari and his two men. “Abey shaney…tera time aa gaya lagta hai!! Vapas kar paise varna teri building se hi tujhe neeche tapka doonga!!”, he threatened. At that very moment Supari Bhai’s phone buzzed with the ringtone, “Arey ye to bataaa..sochta hai tu kyaaa….” This was the latest Rakhi Sawant item number and Sandeep’s favourite. He immediately started to dance on this song…step by step…exactly like Rakhi Sawant. He was singing and dancing madly. Marine Drive was a famous hangout spot and at that hour, there were many people hanging around. Sandeep was dancing like mad. Supari tried to stop him but could not. People were now staring at them. Supari and his men left the spot fearing police attention. Song by song…he kept on dancing and singing each item number of Rakhi Sawant.
It was then he spotted a couple in a compromising position making merry in a corner, away from preying eyes. The spot the couple had chosen was perfect as it was very difficult to spot them at this hour. Sandeep’s eyes lit up at the thought of mischief. He recalled a scene from yesteryears Rajni flick where the hero plays a moral police. Rakhi steps were replaced by Rajni’s poses in a matter of seconds and Sandeep started off in the direction were the couple were making merry. “Found a safe place you rascala’s….Rajni anna around and all this shit happening…Chumma Perai Kettavudane adhiruthilla (Doesn’t my name send a shiver down your spine?)…. Ponnum, pennum un pinnadi varanum...athu pinnadi nee pogakoodadhu..( Money and girls should always follow you, never go behind them)…Does not this chappy know that….Rascala…making merry in Rajni’s presence….Shoooo…Shooo…Go away….Go away…..Go away I say….Naan Oru Thadava Sonna ....Nooru Thadava Sonna Mathiri..!(I say it once, it’s as good as saying it a hundred times)”, Sandeep was shouting at the couple in true Rajni ishtyle. The couple were so engrossed in making merry that they had turned a deaf ear to the outside world. This enraged Sandeep. He started walking towards the couple after flicking a cigarette in the air which landed perfectly between his lips. He was walking in Rajni style. He was barely a metre away from the couple on romp when he stopped abruptly and dished out more Rajni dialogues. “Adhe kozhandhai kitta Sandeep Malannu sonna, innoru kaiyale avanga amma vaayayum moodum!” (Well, if you say the name ‘Sandeep Malan’ to that particular unborn child, it will close its mother’s mouth with the other hand!)…… Late ta vandalu Latest ta varuven(I come late but I come Latest)….put your clothes on you Rascala’s….and face Rajni….and get lost from here…..Yenna Rascalaaaa….Mind It!!!”, screamed Sandeep. A crowd had started gathering at the spot where Sandeep was belting dialogue after dialogue. More and more people were joining in to check out what the commotion was all about. Everyone who saw what was happening, was enraged at the couple.
The couple was shocked at this sudden intrusion and was clueless what was happening. The girl picked up her duppatta and fled the scene. Sandeep caught a glimpse of her when she ran past him. He had seen her somewhere. The face he saw bore a striking resemblance to Sarah Alexander, who was his colleague at office. Yes, it had to be her. That scar on her right cheek had confirmed his doubts. The guy was still in a state of shock. He was taken aback to see all the crowd that had gathered. Sandeep was still fuming, “Yennaaa Rascalaa…making merry at a secluded spot and marring the image of this great city…that too when Rajni’s disciples are around….Mind it!! You people…teach him a lesson…no one messes around in Rajni’s raj…..Mind it!!” The enraged mob attacked the guy and started beating him up. With every cry, Sandeep was laughing more hysterically. After beating him up for 5 minutes, Sandeep intruded and asked the crowd to stop. “Rajni’s biggest strength is his ability to forgive and forget…Mind it!! One last slap in Rajni ishtyle and then you are free”, said Sandeep. He caught hold of the guy’s collars and pulled him towards him. The guy was bleeding profusely. He was crying loudly. “Look at me you rascala”, commanded Sandeep. The guy looked in his direction. Sandeep got the shock of his life. It was Sanjay D’Silva!! His boss Sanjay D’Silva!!